Written by Kathleen Goodwin
Never before have I met a 21-year-old quite as in tune with herself and her world as Chloe Gendrow. She greeted me like an old friend, and our conversation was free-flowing and easy. This is part of her charm. She is approachable and understandable. She is adorable and fun. She is honest and real. And these qualities shine through in her music. Chloe has always known that she wanted to make music. 鈥淚 feel like this sounds cheesy: but I鈥檝e always known that I either wanted to sing or write songs from the time I was very young. It is the one thing that has stuck with me. I felt that it was my duty to serve the younger me and give it a fair shot,鈥 she explained as she sat down to talk with Destination Missoula about her music, her life in Missoula, and her plans for the future.
I met with Chloe at Le Petit Outre, and as I walked in the shop at 3:55 for our 4:00 meeting, she was already there sipping a coffee at the family-style table in the center of the store. She flashed a friendly smile in my direction, like she recognized me even though we had never met. 鈥淚 got her early,鈥 she laughed. As I was setting up the recording device, she said, 鈥淛ust so you know, I am the most awkward person ever when it comes to talk about my music. It is hard to verbalize it. When I make my music, I am in my own little world. I am in my head. I am just doing it for me. I am not thinking of an explanation for it so long as it satisfies my vision. It鈥檚 just me in my room making music alone most of the time.鈥 Well, Chloe, that sounds like a pretty good explanation to me!
And with this in mind, we dove right in. Chloe Gendrow has always written music. When she was a little girl, she would write songs in her notebooks. And when she was 11, she got her first guitar. 鈥淚鈥檝e been singing and playing guitar for the last decade. I was super into writing as a kid. I was just a very emotional kid鈥攖here is no mystery here! I sang what I thought. And then as I got into high school, I quit playing for people and just played in the comfort of my own home because I was so scared of what people would think. Then my junior year I decided, 鈥楽crew it. I am doing the talent show.鈥 I had nothing to lose. I was never going to see these people again. I realized that I wasn鈥檛 being authentic to who I was and it wasn鈥檛 making me happy. I did a cover of a Macklemore song at the talent show, and from then on people just recognized me as the girl who sings. That definitely jump started the whole pursuit of this career.鈥
鈥淚 grew up as an only child,鈥 she went on to tell me. 鈥淚t was me, myself, and I. My parents had really stable jobs. My mom was an office manager, and my dad was a garbage man. I always was nervous about having a job like that, and I realized that [music] could be a feasible career path if I just hit it hard. I think writing and singing got me through some of the hardest things. When my parents got divorced in 7th grade, music was the one thing I had, being an only child. It was my comfort blanket. And I also feel that it was the one thing that set me apart from other people. Like, you are bullying me, but you can鈥檛 sing and write songs like I do. Internally it gave me strength.鈥
Born and raised in the Missoula area, Chloe graduated from Lolo School and started at the University of 日本毛片 in 2013. Despite the fact that she knew music was her chosen career, she felt that going to school and getting a degree was a smart decision. 鈥淸Right after high school], I knew if I don鈥檛 go [to school] now, it was likely I wouldn鈥檛 go back. So [I wanted a] degree that would work with music, but that would also work if and when music fades out. I felt like if I had access to this kind of education I should take it and run with it. So I chose marketing. I tried to be strategic. I had to pick a major that would allow me to pursue music. I will graduate in December 2018. It took me 4.5 years since I took a semester off. I just want to get it over with, to be honest,鈥 she says, laughing a little.
And when Chloe says she knew she could make music if she hit it hard, she is not joking. She released her first EP, Growing Pains, at age 19, only a year-and-a-half out of high school. She released her first full length album, Glow, in November of 2017 at age 21.
鈥淵ou learn a lot about yourself when you make yourself so vulnerable like that,鈥 she explains about releasing an album. 鈥淚 was obviously super nervous about what people would think, but it I had to get it off my chest. [When I released Growing Pains,] people didn鈥檛 know I could write my own songs. [After that, I thought], 'If people know I can sing, well now they know I can write, too.鈥欌
Chloe explains that releasing her full-length album, Glow, was a totally different experience than releasing Growing Pains. 鈥淲颈迟丑 Growing Pains, I was just learning to make music, logistically and electronically and dealing with all the logistics of production. I was just putting it out there and was interested to see what people gravitated to most, just to identify my sound. But Glow was a much more cohesive project in the sense that I kind of kept it to one genre. The songwriting is very related throughout the whole album. It opened my eyes to the effort of making a whole album and what that process is like. It鈥檚 hard for people to understand what it鈥檚 like until you are actually in it. I feel like I lost so much of who I was during that because I put myself under so much pressure. I made these deadlines for myself. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I never had so much going on in my life [because I was doing this and was still in school]. I feel like my relationships with people suffered a little, but I wanted to feel what it was like to be in my own head and make the kind of music I feel when I am alone.鈥
She explains that during her EP, she found that she was creating a lot of music that sounded like other artists on the radio. She laughs, saying that she is a pretty good copy-cat when she wants to be. When she was given the chance to record a full-length album, she knew that if it did not go well, then perhaps her dreams of a career in music could be over. For that reason, Chloe spent the time while she was writing and recording Glow in creative isolation.
鈥淚 would just drive into the woods, up Lolo Pass. You start getting these crazy thoughts when you are alone long enough. I tried to do research on people鈥檚 creative processes. I don鈥檛 think there is one right way to do it, but it has a lot to do with what type of music you make. It was when I was the weakest when I would pull [my best] lyrics. I was not sacrificing my well-being by any stretch, but I let myself fall into a lower mood than I normally would just because I wanted to be honest with myself for once in my life.聽I also feel like I didn鈥檛 listen to music because I did not want to sound like anyone else. I knew I had to do me fully, so I could get the most authentic sound at the end of the day. When I was making Glow, I did not listen to any music. Radio silence. I would find myself driving into town not even listening to the radio, because I could not listen to a song without analyzing it. I would just listen to nothing. I don鈥檛 know why, but I couldn鈥檛 enjoy it. I was getting into producing and all the logistics of it. Instead I was more Influenced by experiences [at that time] and my friends鈥 experiences.鈥
Chloe explained that the process of creative isolation was a necessary step in producing the quality of music she knew she could create. 鈥淚鈥檝e never been through anything really hard in my life. I鈥檝e always been really social. I鈥檝e always had people surrounding me. I was very extroverted. And I felt like I was putting on a fa莽ade sometimes. I knew I could really dig deep and find good lyrics if I removed myself from that and was just in my own head and with my thoughts. It was a crazy roller-coaster.鈥
Chloe did most of the writing and producing of this album in her bedroom with the help and support of her friend Reid Graham, and after a year of writing and two months of recording, she released her album, recorded at Club Shmed Studios in Missoula. In November 2017, Chloe held a release party for Glow at the Top Hat Lounge where she was finally able to unveil her creation to the world. Since then, the reception she has received from fans and producers has grown, something she called bizarre. People reach out to Chloe through email, or Instagram, or SoundCloud. She says that she loves hearing from fans, but it can at time be a shock.
鈥淧eople were really receptive of it and I was not expecting that at all. I was just doing what made me happy, and if people like it, then that [would be] incredible. And so just I feel like [people鈥檚 positive reactions] made it that much sweeter. That and knowing that [Glow] relates to people on a personal level.鈥
She says that she has received a lot of support from the Missoula community, both her close friends and the town as a whole. 鈥淢y family has been super supportive, but the music I make is not what they listen to. They will always listen to it because I am their daughter, but like it鈥檚 not The Beatles,鈥 she laughs. 鈥淏ut as far as music scene in Missoula, it鈥檚 weird because there isn鈥檛 an exclusive community in the genre that I make. There is a lot of bluegrass. There is some underground punk and rock, but not a lot of people make pop. I think that people were not caught off guard鈥攖hey did not expect that music to come out of Missoula. People have been super receptive. They tell me, 鈥業 don鈥檛 hear this from other people.鈥 And that is one of the reasons I chose to make this music, too, because no one else is doing it. It is not necessarily my favorite genre, but it is fun to make, and it is my niche, in this community at least.鈥
Chloe has seen success outside of the Missoula community as well. A producer reached out to her and she ended up writing and collaborating on a song called 鈥淔eel Like,鈥 which was featured on many Spotify playlists. She explains that the music industry is very much so online these days, and that from 鈥淔eel Like,鈥 people from around the world have grown to know and love Glow. 聽鈥淚 have had people from around the world reaching out, which is crazy, because you never expect that. I鈥檓 just in my own head. If my friends listen, that鈥檚 awesome.聽I鈥檓 speechless honestly at how much traction it has gotten. I would have never expected that. It鈥檚 so hard to describe, It鈥檚 just bizarre. It鈥檚 a wonderful thing. It鈥檚 the thing you dream about happening as a musician but [you never really expect it to happen].鈥
Growing up in Missoula, Chloe says she did not know that she was living in such a musically rich place. As a musician living and working in Missoula now, however, she says she constantly feels lucky to have the unwavering support of such a tight-knit community.
鈥淢y mom took me to concerts at the Wima,鈥 she says, 鈥渂ut local music was not a thing to me. I think I was more influenced by my experiences here. I feel really lucky to have been able to put something out in this community because it is so tight knit. You are going to have people backing you that you don鈥檛 know, just because it is Missoula. You have that built in support, which is super unique. It was scary creating music in this genre鈥攄own tempo pop鈥攂ecause there is a lot of people who listen to that music but there is not a huge community in this town who makes it or goes to shows. I was concerned about where I would fit in. Then I decided 鈥榊ou don鈥檛 need to fit in: just do your own thing and if you don鈥檛 fit in that鈥檚 okay.鈥 It sounds so clich茅, but I realized I don鈥檛 have to make the music [others] are making here to do me.鈥
Because of her schedule with school, it is hard for Chloe to find time to perform. Unlike other performers, live shows are not her favorite aspect of making music. So much so that her DJ is a friend of hers rather than a professional sound technician. 鈥淎 lot of people who do this would have a sound guy [DJ], but I don鈥檛 want to deal with that. I鈥檇 rather have someone who I am comfortable with right next to me. I can just look at her and say 鈥楪o鈥 or 鈥楬old up I鈥檓 gonna talk a little bit here.鈥 I think it would be really cool to eventually have a band.鈥 Chloe, who also plays guitar, says that she prefers to only play guitar at unplugged shows rather than during her production shows, so she can focus on singing, but she also enjoys playing unplugged concerts at coffee shops and breweries in town with just her voice and her acoustic guitar.
鈥淚 get more nervous about laid back shows. They鈥檙e so [intimate]. People aren鈥檛 doing anything else. With acoustic shows, people are there to see you. Whereas with live shows, people are there to have fun, I鈥檓 just background music to their good night.鈥
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Chloe says that once she graduates, she plans to pursue music full time. She explains that at some point, she knows that she might have to leave 日本毛片 to grow as an artist, but that she also believes riding the wave of internet music is a good option for her. 鈥淚 will leave when I need to. But Missoula is just such a cozy town to pursue music, and I am just comfortable here and that is why I don鈥檛 want to leave. It鈥檚 home. It鈥檚 familiar.
Music to Chloe is more than a career, though. It has been a constant in her life, and something that will continue to be so until she says she burns out. 鈥淚 am not spiritual or religious in any sense, but I knew that one day I am going to wake up and say, 鈥業 can鈥檛 keep doing this,鈥 and that day hasn鈥檛 come yet. So as far as I鈥檓 concerned, I need to keep [pursing music] until my heart burns out or I can鈥檛 relate to it anymore. It鈥檚 always been the one thing I鈥檝e had鈥擨 was always [playing] sports, but I was never really good, and music was the one thing that I had in my back pocket. I don鈥檛 know. It helped me be okay with not relating to people. I don鈥檛 really open up to people like I used to, so when [my friends] listen to my music, I think they get it, I鈥檓 not great at verbalizing my words, but I can sing them!鈥
A sunset stroll along the Riverfront Trail is never a bad idea!
